CHAPTER 1
Alone in New York City and not a Bob in sight. At least not one she knew.
"To me," Madison lifted her champagne in toast and after the modest applaud from her inner self, she took a sip. And then another, until the glass held only her reflection.
She looked around the five-star hotel room. Next to the open bottle of champagne sat a bouquet of tiger lilies and peach roses with her novel, No More Bobs,nestled in the middle. Grand Marnier and Cognac truffles arranged at opposite ends of the book accented her name - Madison Lawhon like chocolate bookends. Who'd ever have known?
Bending slightly, she stroked a rose petal and welcomed the companionship. The delicate scent of celebration tickled her nose and she swallowed back her excitement. With a quick glance at her wristwatch, she backtracked the hours. Ten, nine - bordering seven o'clock on the West Coast. The kids would be expecting her call.
She kicked off her slippers, picked up the phone and entered the nine-digits. On the table, a copy of the agenda for the morning's events reminded her why she was there and sweat formed in her palm. Please someone answer.
"Kayla? It's Mom." She said, relaxed in the intimacy of her daughter's voice. "How's everything?"
"Grandma's driving us crazy." The whisper spoke volumes.
Madison sighed, "Maybe you're driving her crazy? Put her on the phone." Even cross-country, still a mom. Madison forced her ear to the receiver to take in the commotion miles away. What was that crash? Who just screamed? Maybe she ought to book an earlier flight home?
"Is that you, Madison?"
"It's me. So how are the kids?" She prepared for the he-did-what-to-whom and back-in-my-day recital. No answer. Madison amplified her voice, "the kids?"
After mom readjusted the volume on her hearing aid she spoke crisply. "Marc scraped up his knee. He'll live. And Luke got a phone call from some floozy." Madison sensed a proverb coming off her mother's tongue. "The way these girls flaunt their fannies and pierce every orifice in their bodies, it's a wonder they--"
"Come on, they're teenagers." Madison counted the hours until she could parole the kids from grandma's protective custody and changed the subject, a futile argument to two different interpretations of misbehavior.
"I still can't believe it." Madison grasped the itinerary and gazed out at the New York skyline. "I'm going to be on Awakenings tomorrow morning."
"My little girl on my favorite talk show," Mom sent her reviews. "Your father would be so proud and Jessica and Paul are so--oh, I can hardly wait."
Madison walked barefoot on the plush carpeting, her toes sinking two-inches deep into the thick pile, and dropped in ecstasy on the over-sized bed, savoring her impending nine-minute moment of fame. She floated back into the soft pillows and stared at the ceiling, enveloped in her mother's familiar voice. So far away, yet so close.
She closed her eyes and imagined her mother's encouragement riding on the California bay breeze, scaling the snowcapped Rockies, dipping in the currents to tickle the stalks of corn in Iowa and crossing into New York City with barely an inhalation between sentences. Her presence filled the room.
"I had all the ladies in my prayer group say a special prayer so you won't be nervous tomorrow." Mom confided.
Mom how could you, she thought in embarrassment, and thanked her efforts with a simple, "I'll be fine."
But Mom was right.
Her stomach gurgled and she exhaled slowly, not wanting to disclose her nervous jitters. God had more important issues than Madison's gastric juices flip-flopping on a television studio set. She shifted the headset to her left ear and propped her elbow on the pillow.
"Is the studio paying for this call? You're not rich and it is long distance." The reprimand lost its sting somewhere over Ohio.
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 Cynthia, I’m reading your novel, No More Bobs. It is so wonderfully written and enchanting. I’m only half way through, but had to let you know that I will be a faithful reader of your creations. Keep up the good work. - Rosemary
I enjoyed your book very much. Finished it last week and keep forgetting to write and tell you how fun it was to read. I even stayed up late to finish it which I never do. Thanks! My sister-in-law is reading it now. – Arla, Utah
No More Bobs is a novel told with a deliciously wicked sense of humor, craftily played out by a cast of characters who bob and weave their way through one misadventure after another. The main protagonist, Madison, is a strong and sexy woman who meets life on her own terms, despite a problematic romantic history with men named Bob. The novel's mixture of romance and mystery, complemented by the continuous comedic moments, makes for a delightful read. My favorite characters include Denny, whose stalwart loyalty and unrequited love for Madison tugs at the reader's heartstrings. Also, a few all-too-brief appearances by a somewhat-confused, soap-opera obsessed neighbor add to the hilarity. I'll be looking with enthusiasm for the next offering by this engaging novelist. – Ftfoster, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Cynthia it is so very good to see you again! Your writing is top notch! Always has been, and always will be! Keep it up! – Brad Fralick, author
No More Bobs is a funny and enjoyable look into the life of writer Madison Lawhon, who has a rather Bob-filled dating past. Take it from a Bob; no good can come of that. Madison's story opens with an appearance on a morning television program with a fat woman who speaks to animals and a voodoo doctor, and swiftly begins to add odd characters. Madison's dating history of toads suddenly means more than we think, as the fun cast begins to interact in this well-written tale. – Robert D. Holt, author, New Jersey
The book is great, cant wait for you next one. Keep me posted. I like your writing style. Got-to-go now, right in the middle of a Bob moment.......ha...ha. - Harriet Laday-Stoudermire, San Francisco Bay Area
I am neither a professional critic nor a book reviewer but I bought this book to give to a friend who had a boyfriend named...you guessed it, Bob. I wound up reading it myself and totally enjoyed it. It was fun and well written with a great eye for scene description. The characters are well fleshed out and, although some are not really believable as real human beings, comedy is exaggeration of the truth after all, they are funny. Ms. Borris has a very nice storytelling style and I look forward to reading her again, hopefully in the not-too-distant future. – Norm Schmidt, San Francisco Bay Area
This story tickled me immensely while cluing me to the fact we men and our self secret rituals, are no longer secret. – Robert W. Thieman, Fremont, CA
No More Bobs is a fun-filled romp into the life of Madison Lawhon, a single mom with a Bob problem-all the guys she has dated were named Bob and all were less than dream dates. Add to the mix: Jack Graham, a man with an agenda; a cast full of quirky characters; and some weird science that includes an aphrodisiac and mutated frogs and you're in for a good time. All in all, a very enjoyable read. – SundayJan, Indiana
No More Bobs is not just about a woman who can't find the right man (and for whom all the wrong men just happen to share the same name). It's about a single mother, struggling to make ends meet while pursuing her dream. This is a great book--funny, light, sweet and compelling. The characters in this book are so unique and well-defined that I never had trouble remembering who they all were and what was going on in. Super reading. I can't wait for more by this author! – Bookfoolery and Babble, Mississippi
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